Well, the first thing you have to realize about Lulu + Mistletoe is that while Lelouch cannot stand and may, in fact, fear the loss of control, he is also quite grateful to be able to use his anxiety over that as something to focus on other than how he actually feels about being kissed. Lelouch rarely acknowledges his hormones because he has so many other things on his mind that something as pointless as they get easily pushed aside. And some part of Lelouch does realize that certain kissing gathered a bit more attention than he was expecting. AND HE REALLY DOESN'T WANT TO CONSIDER THOSE IMPLICATIONS RIGHT NOW. Which of course circles right back into his control issues since this is obviously one thing he cannot control. So the true mortification is the realization that yes such things can affect him, regardless of how he subconsciously tries to ignore them. There are more important things.
Needless to say that all this less controllable stuff comes on the heels of the dark!Zero catastrophe gives Lelouch far too many things to think about at once. He is still reeling with the fear that camp could cause him to lose control in such a way again so anything that allows little time for rationalization and forces him to be purely reactionary makes him uneasy. Basically anything that he cannot explain with his baffling logic. To avoid this uneasiness, he also believes he can just not truly humor these things he's not well versed in (hormones/feelings), although, ironically, his quest to ignore them usually just results in him having to remember them in the first place. So it's just a cycle of "screw Lelouch" here.
As for Asta, I'm sorry to say that I don't think it was Asta Lelouch was kissing. And no, you're not getting any more than that, greedy greedy girl.
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branchandroot
I'm using this icon because I probably won't get to again for a while. :(
Date: 2007-12-05 06:55 am (UTC)Needless to say that all this less controllable stuff comes on the heels of the dark!Zero catastrophe gives Lelouch far too many things to think about at once. He is still reeling with the fear that camp could cause him to lose control in such a way again so anything that allows little time for rationalization and forces him to be purely reactionary makes him uneasy. Basically anything that he cannot explain with his baffling logic. To avoid this uneasiness, he also believes he can just not truly humor these things he's not well versed in (hormones/feelings), although, ironically, his quest to ignore them usually just results in him having to remember them in the first place. So it's just a cycle of "screw Lelouch" here.
As for Asta, I'm sorry to say that I don't think it was Asta Lelouch was kissing. And no, you're not getting any more than that, greedy greedy girl.