[Backdated to a day or so after kitty bandages incident...]

[thekingsgambit]

[It is an ungodly hour of the morning that most campers haven't even heard of, possibly just before sunrise, do you know where your failemp is?]


((PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5))

Comments

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

Tch. Is that all your resolve was about, then? Not about the world, but about absolving yourself of guilt, about sacrificing yourself for others? And after all this time, scolding me for it.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Immediately forces himself to his feet, going completely pale as the action makes him feel faint. He snatches for Suzaku's coat collar.]

Bastard! Do you think I would have given you your role if it was nothing more than that? Do you think I would have abandoned --

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[-- Cuts self off as quickly as he can.]

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

... I told you, I planned for everything. I gave you your chance to help them, to change the world yourself.

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

[doesn't react at all to the grabbing]

So if you realize your purpose, why this self-pity, all of the sudden?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Grips harder and practically hisses through his teeth, as if forcing himself to admit it. He looks up at him, with frenzied, exhausted and ever so slightly haunted eyes.]

It's different here.

There's debts to pay and doing so is much more... problematic.

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

[reaching to the loosen the grip]

It is...it is different here. Things that shouldn't be possible are possible, apparently whether or not we want them to be. There's no purpose or any easy way out. But don't you think destroying yourself in the process isn't the best way to deal with it? Do you think that would settle the debts?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Sags]

It wasn't my objective.

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

[allowing his expression to soften]

No, but it seems to be the end result.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Lets go and walks over to the wall, resting his good forearm and forehead against it, as he gives a tight, shaky sigh.]

... What am I supposed to do, Suzaku?

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

[watches him for a long moment and then looks away, down at his hands]

Nothing-- or, only what you can. It's enough.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Turns gaze without moving, looking through his bangs.]

What I can?

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

Yes. If you're talking about paying debts, helping people. Only what you yourself can do. Or if I can help...

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

Helping people...

[Goes quiet again, as if in thought.]

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

[moves towards him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder]

Is that not what you meant?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Tenses at first, as if to pull away as he has so many times already. Then seems to ease down, exhaling quietly before setting a hand over Suzaku's.]

It is...

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

[gently squeezing his shoulder in return]

Then, it's time to move forward. Being so lost isn't like you, after all.

[this said teasingly]

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Chuckles weakly but more naturally this time, looking back slightly.]

Using my words for your own argument. Some would call that cheating.

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

[smiles]

Well, I guess I have to admit it makes for good persuasion.

[and is now giving him an evaluative look]

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Looks up]

Ah, and it is about time I put it into proper use. It will never be enough, but it can at least be... something more, something here. I can give them that.

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

[nods]

Yes. That's what I think, too.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Slowly slides his hand off his shirt.]

Then I can expect you to not try to drag me back this time

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

[sighs, turning away to study the Lancelot, having missed his chance earlier...]

Maybe. Rest right now would still probably be a good idea, though.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

Probably.

[Leans down to place the piece back on the board.]

But it will have to wait.

[whenknightfalls.livejournal.com]

...what are you going to do?