IC: Anniversary

[thekingsgambit]

[It's morning in the garden and the air is still slightly chill from the recently departed night. But such things are of little consequence to the young man who rests on his knees by the largest patch of lilies, recalling another day in a garden considerably larger than this one and the jubilant companion that raced ahead of him -- through the paths of flowers, calling his name excitedly in her bubbly voice and mock-pouting when his attempts to keep up with her were frequently hampered by his own exhausted breaths. Then, another day, when it was her struggling to catch her breath, the flowered paths at her side now endless puddles of red, dark petals of the color staining her lily-white dress -- And again, she calls his name, eagerly encouraging him one last time to join her game.

The recollection is simpler than the dreams that brought him here, fantasies of them working together to forge something pure, pure and not wrenched from the bloody tatters of a bitter recovery. Something that wouldn't have been paid for by a litany of names stretching onto forever -- he had made it a point then to learn every single one of them. One should always know the exact cost of an exchange. Oh how that child that had teased him by the flowers, that woman that had beamed at him in the darkened headquarters of her precious gift to the Japanese (to the world) would have hated the entire act.

He reaches for one of the lily's fragile petals (yes it is fitting that this had been the flower she waited at those many years ago when things were still fresh and full of possibility). His eyes lower, no longer focusing on the flower but instead losing himself to his memories.]

And what now, Euphie? Would you manage a smile for the broken world I have laid at the lap of Nunnally and all the others who would claim it? It is not how you would have done it of course, but... I have never had your gentle touch. Nunnally does. You know it too. Even with everything I have done to her, bloodying her hands just as I bloodied yours, forcing her to claim each death as her own... she is still your sister. Her hands are more capable of helping to shape the world you saw than mine ever were. Just as I will always be the destroyer, you two will always be the true creators, architects of a future that I could only ever barely glimpse.

But is it enough? Even if it is accepted by our world, I wonder if it would be accepted by you. Or would you still the shadows of what could have been? I admit, I have long blinded myself from them. Perhaps, you would find some hope in knowing that those possibilities are now in the hands of the one who could always see. It is the type of simple poetry that you once cherished. Ah, Euphie?

Comments

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Oh yes... that question.]

Ah, unfortunately we have been having some trouble with our communications lately. We can receive incoming message, but we have been unable to send our own. I apologize for the inconvenience, your highness.

[ascendthethorns]

[Hands key back.]

Then no thank you.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

... Perhaps the Lancelot's pilot will be able to show you then. He has a true affinity for his machine.

I can, however, tell you something unique about this one.

[ascendthethorns]

It's not the same without Lady Marianne... but I suppose you can tell me about your Knightmare Frame.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

Not the same?

[ascendthethorns]

I thought it would be all right. It's not though. I want to learn from her.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

... I apologize. I did not mean to make you think something was wrong with your path.

[ascendthethorns]

[Puts her hand on the Shinkirou's leg.]

Lady Marianne talks about them with a lot of hope. Mother says she's as hopeful of them as she is for her new baby, which is a lot. She's really happy now, but you aren't. These Knightmares make you sad, too.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Trying to negotiate Marianne's hope for Knightmares with everything else he knows now. Further trying to negotiate it with her feelings for him -- and later Nunnally -- which he had never thought to question until that day in Kamine. In times of more clarity, he had accepted that, in her own way -- a way not too different from that of her wayward son -- Marianne had done everything she could to make a better world for her family. The problem was that she too failed to understand that human element. But that she had loved them... he knew it to be true. As fiercely as he loves Nunnally. Yes, in her mania, Marianne had held as much hope as anyone, for those she loved, for even a world that she saw as suffering and lost.

He steps back, temporarily cool, overcome by the return of realizations and for once answers his not-so older sister with sincerity.]

... they make me remember.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[He looks at her again.]

But your reasons are different. I suppose I just never considered them in such a way. Not for a while anyway.

[ascendthethorns]

What do they make you remember?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

Ah, decisions back home.

Euphie.

[Taps the console again to close the Shinkirou and then motions to the white Knightmare further down.]]

That one was her hope.

[ascendthethorns]

Was she its pilot?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

No, but she gambled much on it, on what it meant to its pilot. I... refused to understand.

[ascendthethorns]

Why?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

I was angry back then.

[ascendthethorns]

With Euphie?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

Ah. With many things.

[ascendthethorns]

Is it better here?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[.... Was not expecting that question.]

... What a question.

[Pauses]

Many people that are important to me are here. They make me want to be better. And they help in any way they know how. That is the only true answer.

[ascendthethorns]

Oh. It's just different, then.

You still haven't told me what you wanted to say about Shinkirou.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

Honestly, your highness, I think you might be able to tell me far more about these machines than I could ever tell you.

[ascendthethorns]

I don't think so. Mother still won't let me see them.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

You already understand them as well as any pilot. Everything else is just a manner of text and skill.

[ascendthethorns]

Really?