[canon] Why Suzaku and Lelouch shouldn't be allowed in the kitchen

[thekingsgambit]

I'm too lazy to look up the excerpt before this one, but I just had to post about the boys' ADVENTURES IN COOKING. Yes, it is that epic. Arthur helps.



Bokura no Hibi ~13th Period Hour~
Translation by Celiss at GameFaqs.



Suzaku: ......Actually, wouldn't buying a cake be more practical and less time-consuming?

Lelouch: It's Kaichou's unreasonable demand that we bake it ourselves. She likes having things done by hand, manually, that sort of thing.

Suzaku: And of all the people she could have chosen she picked the two of us. I'm quite certain there are others more suited to the task......

Lelouch: Like I said -- Kaichou prefers it this way.

Suzaku: I suppose that means she'd be greatly disappointed if the cake actually turns out to be a success......

Lelouch: I don't much care for her reaction, but Nunnally's really looking forward to it. So let's bake a cake so wonderful the Christmas Party just wouldn't be the same without it.

Suzaku: ......Still, what's with that getup, Lelouch? Aren't you taking this a little too seriously?

Lelouch: No, not at all. Patissiers are required to dress this way.

Suzaku: Patissiers?

******

Lelouch: Suzaku, this is the fundamental law of confectionery-making: measure out your ingredients precisely, according to the dictated amount.

Suzaku: Understood. ......Alrighty, 50 grams, right on the dot.

Lelouch: Hey! You call that an exact measurement?

Suzaku: Huh? But... have a look yourself......

Lelouch: The acceptable margin of error begins after the third decimal place.

Suzaku: That's just insane. More like, what kind of kitchen scale measures to that many decimals places?

Lelouch: It bothers me greatly when the measurements aren't precisely as they should be, so I have here Nina's favourite electronic scale. I borrowed it from her.

Suzaku: ......I sure hope that's seen a thorough washing.

Lelouch: I'll do the measuring. Can't be helped. You take this bowl and mix the contents up good."

Suzaku: Oh, I can do that. All I have to do is whip it up, right? [whipping sounds]

Lelouch: Oi. Use a hand mixer. You're never going to get it to froth that----

Suzaku: Huh? But look, I'm done.

Lelouch: I'm beginning to wonder whether you don't actually have motors hidden inside those arms......

Suzaku: Let's taste it. [lick] Hmmm...... it's sweet.

Lelouch: That goes without saying. That's a lot of sugar in there.

Suzaku: Arthur, want a taste too?

Lelouch: Ugh! What's that moggy doing in here!?

[Chomp]

Suzaku: Owww...... urk...... guh......

Lelouch: ......You offered him your hand knowing he'd do that, didn't you.

Suzaku: I think I've gotten into the habit of letting him bite me.

Lelouch: His fur's getting into our ingredients. Chase that beast out, now.

Suzaku: Got it. Come here, Arthur...... g-gwahhh!

[Crash, clatter, bang!]

Lelouch: Argh! My three decimal places!

Suzaku: The flour! It's-- [violent coughing]

*****

Nunnally: ......Oh, but it tastes wonderful, Suzaku-san, Onii-sama. Truly.

Suzaku: Thanks, Nunnally. ......Kaichou, please, it really isn't all that funny

Comments

[realms-of-life.livejournal.com]

Ah, nothing like a masochist boy, an obsessive-compulsive boy and cake. :) Thanks a lot for posting this. Do you know which novel it comes from?

[merrybout.livejournal.com]

... when I get back from hiatus let's bake together.

[oneknightstands.livejournal.com]

. . . why haven't we been banned from the kitchen yet, again?