thekingsgambit | IC: Post Nunnally update

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IC: Post Nunnally update

[Sometime after speaking with Cornelia and checking on Nunnally, who is still in a deep sleep from the other day, Lelouch heads toward his room to retrieve the piece of paper with the notes he had once taken from Muraki's book in regards to medications to help with sleep.]

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[The tremble snaps Suzaku back to the present moment, as he carefully composes himself again. He shakes his head]

Because I know you don't want her to know. But she deserved the truth after everything.

I... do not intend to lie to her ever again, Suzaku.

[Pause.]

... Will she still let you stay with her?

She was upset with me, but that's to be expected. I thought she would be a lot angrier than she was. She didn't tell me to go away.

[Gives a relieved sigh, though still incredibly tense. He rubs at one of his arms]

... Ah, that's good.

Nunnally does not want to be alone right now, even with what happened.

She is too good.

I considered staying away from her, to lessen the pain she will have to go through when she loses me again...

I think it's her choice whether she wants to be with you. But I don't think you should stay away from her just because she's going to lose you again.

I know. Cornelia made me realize the same thing, although she had a more difficult time of it. I have no intention of humoring the thought further.

Good. Because I don't know how much I should be around, in any case.

No, you cannot have her see your as avoidant. She will need you later, and she still needs to be able to believe you care about it and, more importantly, that she can trust you. This is not about our pain, Suzaku. This about correcting our mistake.

No, it's not about my pain.

[Shoves a hand through his hair as he considers the rest of the reasoning]

All right. Fine.

[Watches him do that, as he considers something else that has occurred to him since the night he spent at his little sister's side. The resolute look on his face falters ever so slightly, as he swallows.]

What is it?

[Speaking evenly, as he regards Suzaku with sober eyes.]

... Nunnally should not be given any reason to believe that anything, or anyone, challenges her importance here. She must be first.

[Sighs heavily]

And you call me the idiot.

[Clenches his fist at his side, his arm shaking.]

What would you have me do, Suzaku? In her eyes, our alliance is against her. Do you want to risk reminding her of that?

[Moves forward and grabs his collar!]

Alliance? Does she even think that way? And if you think putting her above everything else fixes anything that happened, you're wrong.

I cannot keep being selfish, Suzaku! I owe her too much.

I owe you too much.

[Shoves him away]

If that's what it is, then you wouldn't make me do this.

[Stumbles slightly on the shove and then forces his miserable look to steady enough to continue, voice low.]

Just this once, try not to make things more difficult than they are. She needs us right now.

... This doesn't change... anything. But she needs us, Suzaku. That is what matters.

[After a moment, weariness and duty overcome anger and hurt, and he slips back into default mode]

I will do what's needed, of course.

[His aspect softens as he thinks of Nunnally, clinging to him]

I'll be there.

[Forces a confident, assuring smile, although a slightly tremble is almost noticeable in the hand at his side.]

I know.

She will be all right.

[Touches his hand briefly]

You have to believe that, for her sake.

[Gives him a more genuine, grateful smile.]

Ah, I do.

[Turns around to return to the cabin.]

I should see if she is close to waking. She will want me there.

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