IC: Post knight clash

[thekingsgambit]

[An hour or so after successfully forcing away one very angry knight, Lelouch has finished inspecting the area around the mysterious carnival and is making his way back through camp. He has already managed to put those events behind him (that much he is sure of) and is intent on discussing more of the situation with his little sister. A chance to be helpful and make decisions might nudge Nunnally from her current thoughts.]

Comments

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

My memories are very precious to me, however big or small or happy or painful they are. You took some and I can't just brush that off. That was low and cowardly and a dick move on your part. You don't have the right to make those decisions for people. Even if they were inconvenient, that's when you should have fucking manned up and dealt with it.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

... Are you done?

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

[hugs him]

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Is far too defeated at this point to do much aside from stiffen briefly before going mostly slack, except for the shudders of remaining frustration.]

... everything you do contradicts yourself. Why can't you just give up?

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

It's not in my nature. Why can't you?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

I did that to her. I hurt her, just as I have hurt countless others. You. Kamui. You cannot even begin to imagine what I am capable of.

And even being here, trying to change things at least in this place... it will never be enough. Why should I have anything else?

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

You're really high up on that fucking horse aren't you? You're not the only one with blood on your hands, Lelouch. Besides, you said it yourself. You're dead. What happened in the past no longer matters.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Jerks up again at the reminder of his old mentality.]

You know nothing about the blood on my hands! She is the one who would claim it! All of it! So don't you dare talk to me about what no longer matters!

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

She's not going to let it go until you do. And the more you try to punish yourself for things you can no longer change, the more you're going to hurt her.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Goes completely quiet at that.]

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

She's your sister and she loves you and nothing you say or do will ever change that.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

... I know that.

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

Good.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Tries to turn away.]

I just...

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

[doesn't let go completely, but he's giving him a bit more room to move now]

You just?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

I want her to be all right. I know she can get through this. She is stronger than anyone I know. It is almost as though she is afraid to try, as if that would make her lose me again.

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

I think it's a lot to deal with all at once very suddenly. But she is strong. And, given enough time, I'm sure she'll be all right.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

... ah.

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

You don't seem sure.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure of many things right now, Fuuma. But I believe in Nunnally.




I just cannot give her what she wants.

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

Which is what?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Absently running a knuckle down his own cheek again.]

It is not important. It is not mine to give either way.

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

. . .

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Turning back to.]

If you are finished with your revenge or intend to delay it until another time, I need to return to her. Reversing my power is not among its abilities.

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

What does that have to do with Nunnally?