IC: Post knight clash

[thekingsgambit]

[An hour or so after successfully forcing away one very angry knight, Lelouch has finished inspecting the area around the mysterious carnival and is making his way back through camp. He has already managed to put those events behind him (that much he is sure of) and is intent on discussing more of the situation with his little sister. A chance to be helpful and make decisions might nudge Nunnally from her current thoughts.]

Comments

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

[just keeps smiling right back]

I think you were hoping I would.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Trying to break away more seriously.]

Get off me!

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

[chuckles darkly]

You started this, Lelouch. Don't run away from me now.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

I'm sick of dealing with you! Weren't you listening to any of that? I don't give a damn about you! All you've ever been is an annoyance.

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

I know.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

So why are you still here?

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

This is your punishment.

[leans in to brush his lips against Lelouch's bruise softly]

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[T-Tries to jerk away as much as he can, still shaking with anger. The contact makes him clench his teeth, as his failure to make anyone understand how completely mad this all is sinks in.

He hits him as hard as he can, given their position.]

Damn you.

[And damn Suzaku too.]

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

[winces]

I haven't forgiven you, if that's what you're thinking.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Just stares at him, no longer sure what to make of that.]

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

My memories are very precious to me, however big or small or happy or painful they are. You took some and I can't just brush that off. That was low and cowardly and a dick move on your part. You don't have the right to make those decisions for people. Even if they were inconvenient, that's when you should have fucking manned up and dealt with it.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

... Are you done?

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

[hugs him]

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Is far too defeated at this point to do much aside from stiffen briefly before going mostly slack, except for the shudders of remaining frustration.]

... everything you do contradicts yourself. Why can't you just give up?

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

It's not in my nature. Why can't you?

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

I did that to her. I hurt her, just as I have hurt countless others. You. Kamui. You cannot even begin to imagine what I am capable of.

And even being here, trying to change things at least in this place... it will never be enough. Why should I have anything else?

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

You're really high up on that fucking horse aren't you? You're not the only one with blood on your hands, Lelouch. Besides, you said it yourself. You're dead. What happened in the past no longer matters.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Jerks up again at the reminder of his old mentality.]

You know nothing about the blood on my hands! She is the one who would claim it! All of it! So don't you dare talk to me about what no longer matters!

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

She's not going to let it go until you do. And the more you try to punish yourself for things you can no longer change, the more you're going to hurt her.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Goes completely quiet at that.]

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

She's your sister and she loves you and nothing you say or do will ever change that.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

... I know that.

[servicewitha.livejournal.com]

Good.

[thekingsgambit.livejournal.com]

[Tries to turn away.]

I just...